


Witches and Wisecracks

by TracedInAir



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, D&D Fic, Diana takes the game a little too seriously, F/F, Light Angst, Maybe the Angst isn't quite so light oops, Post-Canon, Role-Playing Game, Sucy just wants to watch the world burn, Ursula is not a creative GM, actually Pathfinder cause that's what I'm running rn but like you get it, but makes up for it by being literally Shiny Chariot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25285543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedInAir/pseuds/TracedInAir
Summary: "We should try to remain vigilant while we search," Diana looked around the throne room cautiously. "We wouldn’t want to do anything too foolish-”Akko poked a statue with her sword.“Statements that precede unfortunate events,” Sucy said, readying her crossbow.Alternatively, the girls play an RPG, and it would be going so much better if they could all stop arguing over who gets to kill the bosses.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 69
Kudos: 137





	1. Roll For Initiative

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by the fantastic Fantasy AU art by Ticcy: https://ticcytx.tumblr.com/post/164803255564/i-really-liked-the-fantasyau-illustration-made-by  
> And of course the one by Werkbau that inspired that: https://twitter.com/Werkbau01/status/896632793786077184  
> Basically just imagine the characters looking as they do in those artworks ty.

_The sound of clashing steel echoed deafeningly off the cramped walls. The goblins weren’t going down easily, but the heroes were slowly thinning their numbers. Akko finished off her second goblin with a wild cry of “By the power of the stars! Hiyaaaaaaaaaa!”_

_As the goblin fell to her sword, she looked around the room for her next target. The leader, coward that he was, was hiding near the door, and had already launched a bolt of flame that nearly ignited Lotte’s robes. There was still one goblin in the way though, so she began moving for him, raising her sword with as much menace as she could muster._

_Only to see him drop to the ground, as Amanda’s form appeared from the gloom behind him, already pulling her knife free._

_“Thanks Amanda!” Akko called, seeing that the path to the goblin leader was open now. If she could make a dash for him, she could end this fight, once and for all!_

_The goblin had a sudden look of panic, realising his protective wall of bodies had been broken. He barked a quick spell, and grease started to ooze across the floor in thick, slippery pools._

_“Well, guess that’s not happening,” Amanda said with a grimace._

_“I can still make it!” Akko prepared to charge for him._

_“It’s too risky,” Diana called from across the room. She took a quick step away from the pair of goblins she was skirmishing with and loosed a pair of arrows towards the magical goblin. The first landed solidly in his shoulder, but the second was thrown wildly off by the goblins in her path._

_“We’ll deal with the small fry,” Amanda called back, preparing to move over to assist her. “You and Sucy can hit him from here.”_

_“No, I got this!” Akko said, dashing forwards._

_“Akko, no!” Diana shouted._

_“Chaaaaaaaaarge!” Akko yelled._

_And landed flat on her ass in the middle of a puddle of grease._

“Whaaaaaaat!?” Akko pouted, as the tiny conjured image of herself in shining paladin armour was tipped over with a wave of Professor Ursula’s wand.

“Sorry!” Professor Ursula said, holding up her hands apologetically.

Sucy practically doubled over, cackling loudly at her. “You rolled a 2!”

“With your Dexterity, you’d have needed like a 14 anyway,” Amanda said. “We told you not to try it.”

“But I wanted to kill the boss,” Akko said with a huff, crossing her arms. “You and Diana already got the last one.”

“There’s plenty more bosses ahead,” Ursula said placatingly.

“Spoilers!” Lotte said, a little more forcefully than she needed to.

Sucy rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m getting this one. I throw a fire bomb at the magic goblin.”

Ursula’s eyes widened, “The fire splash damage will set the pool of grease on fire, are you sure?”

Sucy’s grin got wider, “Absolutely.”

_As Akko tried to get back to her feet on the slippery grease, she heard a shattering sound, a goblinoid scream of pain, and a WHOOSHing noise as suddenly she became very, very warm._

_“Sucy! Why would you do that!?” She yelled, scrambling away from the grease as quickly as she could while trying to pat out the flames._

_“I got them,” was all Sucy said, grinning maniacally._

_Akko finally pulled herself out of the fire, and was relieved to feel the soothing wave of healing magic pass over her as Lotte took pity on her friend._

_“If you’re quite done with that, could use a little help here!” Amanda yelled, surrounded by the two goblins she’d distracted away from Diana._

_Somewhat reluctantly, Akko charged back into the fray, finishing a goblin off with her first strike before moving in to help Amanda with the last one._

_The goblin mage scrambled away from his own grease pool, trying to pat out the flames from Sucy’s vial of fire. He turned back towards the group, hoping he could land a shot on that pesky archer._

_Only to find himself staring down the length of an arrow aimed straight at him._

“I change my Hunted target to the goblin mage, and with my remaining actions, I will use Hunter’s Aim, giving me a +2 bonus on this attack. That’s a 17, so a 28 with all of my bonuses applied, which I believe is a critical, since 18 hit him last time, meaning that I apply my bow’s additional deadly damage. I then apply my bonus damage from Hunter’s Precision, on top of my critical shortbow damage for… 31 damage.”

A stunned silence rang out across the table.

“Okay…” Professor Ursula said, hesitantly raising her wand.

_The goblin didn’t even have time to entertain his final thoughts. Diana’s arrow flew perfectly, blazing with light from the sheer force as it embedded itself straight between the goblin’s eyes. It dropped in a slump instantly, scattering the remaining goblins as they saw their leader downed._

“Did you have to make it glow!?” Akko demanded, as cheers went up from the table at Diana’s killing shot.

Ursula smiled appeasingly, “It felt appropriate.”

“I thought it was pretty cool,” Lotte said quietly.

“Have you played this before?” Amanda demanded. “Or did you just spend hours going through the book to make sure you had the strongest ranger possible?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Diana said. “It was a lucky roll, that’s all.”

Amanda narrowed her eyes, but let it slide. “Alright, what’s the loot?”

Ursula cleared her throat. _As the routed goblins scurry out of the room, the party quickly rifles through the possessions of the fallen. While most of their rewards are foul-smelling leather and a few bits of bone, the goblin’s leader has a fairly substantial pouch of gold on him, along with an arcane scroll._

“Can any of us read the scroll?” Akko asked, excitedly. “Lotte you’ve got magic right?”

“Divine magic, not Arcane,” Lotte said, sadly.

“I can read it,” Amanda interjected. “Trained in Arcana!”

“Why do you even have that?” Sucy asked.

“Because rogues are cooler than you, that’s why,” Amanda replied smugly. “So what’s this sucker say?”

_As Amanda’s eyes scan over the scroll, her brow knits in confusion. The parts written in her half-native Elven make it clear this is a scroll designed to teach the user to cast fire magic. However, most of the scroll seems to be written in Goblin, a language Amanda can’t read, rendering the fine details useless._

“Is the part written in Goblin in the same handwriting as the Elven parts?” Diana asked, intrigued.

“Good question! Roll, um,” Ursula skimmed through a list in front of her, “Society to check?”

_As Amanda struggled to make sense of the scroll, Diana read over her shoulder. “The Elven and Goblin text both appear to be written in the same hand. The goblin didn’t look particularly proficient with the magic, so it seems likely that someone more skilled translated this scroll to teach him.”_

_Akko’s brow furrowed in confusion, as Diana continued to explain. “I believe someone bought the services of our foe here, with gold and magical training, to deter us from our destination.”_

_“But how did they know we were coming?” Akko asked, still confused._

_“Probably not us specifically,” Amanda reasoned, “just wanted to keep everyone else out. Meaning they’re probably already ahead of us.”_

_Akko gasped. “The treasure! We have to get to it before it’s too late! Prince Arvis is relying on us!”_

_“Yes, I’m sure he’s waiting with bated breath,” Diana replied icily. “Regardless, rushing in will help nothing.”_

_“I dunno,” Sucy said. “Maybe Akko will fall on her butt again.”_

_“Sucy!!!”_

* * *

Their suspicions only grew as they moved deeper into the dungeon. A trap that had already been sprung, a monster nursing a prior injury, and most tragically of all, a treasure chest that had already been emptied.

Someone was here ahead of them.

They’d clearly been trying to mask their presence, but had slipped up in a few places. “Should be a piece of cake then,” Amanda said, leaning back in her chair with a cocky smirk. “We’re clearly dealing with an amateur if they can’t even cover their tracks right.”

“Need I remind you we have hardly been stealthy ourselves,” Diana said coolly. “It likely won’t be long until our quarry becomes aware of our presence, if they are not already. I would advise being more cautious from here onwards.”

“Orrrr,” Akko said, hefting her sword, “we could bust through as fast as possible! They’ve been going slowly, trying to be all sneaky,” she wiggled her fingers in the air, miming a sneaky effect. “So if we keep moving, we can gain on them, maybe catch ‘em before they reach the treasure!”

The group mulled it over for a moment. “I really hate to admit it,” Sucy said, “but the dummy might have a point.”

Akko’s face lit up, as Lotte nodded. “I agree. But be careful, I’m starting to run low on heal spells.”

“That’ll be fine,” Akko waved her hand dismissively, “we have Sucy’s elixirs as backup.”

Silence rang out.

“...Right?”

Lotte, who was sitting next to Sucy and could see her alchemical gear list, made a small, sad noise.

“Lemme see that,” Amanda leaned across the table, yanking Sucy’s character sheet away. “Wait, why do you have _seven_ doses of black adder venom?”

“I started with twelve,” Sucy said, with a feral grin.

“What do all these mutation thingies do?” Akko asked, pointing further down the list.

“One way to find out,” Sucy offered, with her miniature mimicking her offer, holding out a strange coloured vial towards Akko’s character.

Akko narrowed her eyes, “You make me drink enough weird potions in real life already.”

Diana’s head whipped round. “You make her _what!?_ ”

Sucy completely ignored her. “Your loss,” she said with a shrug.

Amanda, meanwhile, had perked up slightly. “Yo Sucy, is it cool if I put a couple doses of poison on my daggers?”

The anguish on Sucy’s face was palpable, as the conflict in her mind played out for all to see. On one hand, someone else using her poisons? Acknowledging their greatness? Wonderful. On the other hand, they were _hers_.

Oh well. Worst that could happen was she messed up and poisoned herself. It was a win-win really.

“You can have one,” Sucy ripped her character sheet back from Amanda’s hands. “If you waste it, I’ll fill your bed with deathcaps.”

Amanda nodded, before sitting up with a shock. “Wait you mean in the game or?”

Sucy’s grin got wider.

“Charming as this distraction has been,” Diana said, still glaring at Sucy over that feeding-potions-to-Akko comment, “had we not agreed that time was of the essence? Incidentally, I do have a medical kit if we should have nee-”

She was interrupted by Akko shouting, “Oh yeah you’re right! CHAAAAARGE!” And breaking straight through the door in front of them.

“At least let me check for traps first!” Amanda started yelling, before tailing off as she saw exactly what Akko had run into.

_The room beyond looks ancient. No daylight filters in, leaving only the flickering light of the heroes’ torches to illuminate it, casting every corner in dancing shadows. The ground is uneven and broken, with overgrown vines and long crumbled stone littering the path. Long tables, cracked and weathered with age, stretch from one end of the room to the other. Statues line the walls, with an enormous replica of the ancient king standing proud behind the throne at the end of the hall, his magnificent sword and armour untouched by the years._

_As Akko’s charge sends her barrelling into the middle of the room, nearly smashing into a table in the process, her allies move in behind her, a little more carefully. Lotte looks around the room in wide-eyed wonder, marvelling at the preserved detail on the statues._

_“Well, we found the throne room,” Amanda said dryly._

_Diana nodded, “The entrance to the vault should be somewhere in here. We should try to remain vigilant while we search, we wouldn’t want to do anything too foolish-”_

_Akko poked a statue with her sword._

_With a horrible, grinding shriek of stone against stone, the statue’s head turned towards her._

_“Statements that precede unfortunate events,” Sucy said, readying her crossbow._

_As the statues slowly ground to life, Amanda wasted no time. She leapt into action, quickly dashing over tables to the nearest statue, landing a solid blow with her dagger. Part of the statue’s leg shattered, but it continued moving as if nothing had happened at all, turning its head towards her and raising its own weapon in a silent challenge._

_“At least it’s poisoned,” Amanda said, preparing to dodge the statue’s retaliation._

_“A-actually I think they’re immune,” Lotte said, launching a ray of light at another statue._

_Amanda groaned in frustration as Sucy turned to her, “Deathcaps. Don’t forget.”_

* * *

_The fighting was brutal. The statues were merciless, striking with impossible strength at anyone who dared come near them, and closing down all who tried to keep their distance. Akko screamed as her sword clashed once again off the thick stone exterior of the statue._

_And watched in amazement as the stone shattered, bits of the statue flying off at random as it reeled back._

_“Yay! I think I got one!” Akko shouted to her allies over the din._

_“You sure about that?” Amanda called back. Akko turned around, her eyes widening as the broken statue raised its own stone weapon towards her once again._

_An arrow appeared from the corner of her vision, flying straight into the statue’s core, which immediately exploded, filling the air with choking dust and rubble._

_“They’re vulnerable once they take enough damage,” Diana said. “Finish them off quickly once they break.” The heroes breathed a collective sigh of relief at the knowledge that the monstrous statues_ could _actually be destroyed, as Diana continued. “Their intelligence is limited, they only attack whoever is closest.”_

_“Got it!” Akko called, running back to help out her allies. “Yoo hoo! Come get me!”_

_Diana’s hypothesis proved correct as the statue that was bearing down on Lotte suddenly changed direction as Akko moved closer. The statue brought its stone sword down heavily, but the blow which would surely have crushed Lotte barely made a dent against Akko’s heavy armour._

_“Careful!” Diana shouted back, swapping her bow for a shortsword as she and Amanda surrounded another statue, carefully moving so it could never get a clean swing on both of them._

_Sucy was not faring so well. She reached into her pack, hoping for anything that would be of use against the inorganic titans. Her last acid flask greeted her, and was immediately hurled at the enormous statue of the king that was still making its way inexorably across the room._

_The king’s statue barely even stopped in its tracks as the acid ate into its stone exterior._

_“Shit!” Sucy cursed as the king brought his weapon to bear. The sword gleamed, rust-free despite the centuries as it broke the air towards Sucy._

_“Sucy!” Lotte’s hands immediately glowed with brilliant light, the energy flying across the room towards the slumped form of Sucy on the ground. Diana stepped away from her current adversary and launched another powerful arrow at the giant statue, finding its mark as stone and wood exploded out of the king’s chest. Akko’s sword shone through the back of the crumbling statue before her, and she charged across the room, screaming a battle cry as she tried desperately to make it to Sucy’s side in time._

_There was no way she’d make it._

_Sucy pushed herself off the ground, coughing blood as Lotte’s healing spell washed over her. It had only delayed the inevitable, as the king’s sword came down once more._

_“Sybilladura Lelladybura!”_ Akko yelled, leaping out of her seat with her hand thrown skywards. “I use Paladin’s Retribution!”

The other players looked at her, dumbfounded. “...Meaning?” Amanda asked.

“I can dash the last little bit and take the hit, then I can get some revenge on that big meanie!”

Ursula hid her laugh with her hand, as Akko’s heroic sacrifice played out before them.

_As Sucy shut her eyes, preparing for the inevitable, there was a sudden burst of light as Akko blurred with speed, throwing herself into the way of the attack. The blade crunched into her armour with a horrendous tearing noise, but Akko just raised her head, grinning as she brought her sword up. The hole in the king’s armour from Diana’s earlier attack was straight in front of her, his weakpoint completely exposed. It was time to end it!_

_Akko’s sword lunged for it, but the hit had thrown her aim, and it clipped the edge of the king’s ar-_

“Nope!” Akko said, looking up from the 7 on the die. “ _Arae Aryrha_ , Blessing of Stars!”

She picked up the dice again, preparing her reroll.

The entire table watched, breathless, craning their necks to see the roll.

15.

Good enough.

_With a mighty cry, bloodied and bruised from the attack she’d intercepted, Akko’s sword curved through the air, glowing with the power of the stars as it found its way directly into the exposed gap in the statue king’s armour._

_Stone exploded across the room as the king’s ancient form collapsed to the floor, leaving Akko alone in the midst of the rubble, breathing heavily and clutching her sword._

_Diana immediately dashed to Sucy’s side, already pulling her medical equipment out of her bag._

_“I’m fine, idiots,” Sucy gurgled past the blood in her mouth. She spat it out, “That one has a more serious condition for you to look at anyway. Empty Head Disease.”_

_There was no malice in it, and the group laughed as Akko basked in her moment. She did it! She’d killed the boss! Yay!_

* * *

_With Sucy patched up, the group cautiously explored the room for signs of the promised treasure vault. If whoever was ahead of them was still here, they weren’t sure if they had the strength left to deal with them._

_Before long, Amanda found a false block behind the throne, and with some quick ingenuity by way of Akko wedging her sword into the gap, they were through._

_They all breathed a collective sigh of relief when they saw no one in the room beyond._

_The room was large, not as large as the grand hall they’d just been in, but still surprisingly spacious for what was meant to be a hidden treasure vault._

_The vault had been ransacked. Gold and jewels lay spilled across the floor, a shining silver set of armour had been pulled over, but what drew the most attention was-_

_“They tried to destroy it,” Diana mused, looking up at the painting that covered the entire face of one of the walls. Chunks of the stone had been smashed, but there was enough left to render it still legible._

_It was a map of the realm. It didn’t match up perfectly to any current map, but the shape was unmistakably that of the kingdom. The colours had dulled over the years, but even that couldn’t hide the several large red marks placed on various points of the map._

_“We must’ve got here before they could finish the job,” Amanda said. “They probably dashed out while we were dealing with those statues.”_

_“Where to?” Akko wondered aloud. The room was completely sealed, and they’d come through the only entrance._

_“Any number of options, assuming they’re magically capable,” Diana said. “They were prepared, the statues prove it. They could have walked through the walls, or simply teleported. We have no way of knowing, or following.”_

_Amanda sighed in frustration. “And we were this close, too!”_

_“Not the end of the world though,” Akko said cheerily. “We found the map they were looking for before they could smash it. Aaaaaaand,” she picked up the gleaming set of armour from the floor, “we still got some loot!”_

_“Careful Akko,” Diana placed a cautious hand on her shoulder, “it could be cursed.”_

_“Relax, it’s silver. Silver’s curse-proof, right?” Akko said, already stuffing the armour into a bag of holding._

_Diana sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, as Lotte spoke up. “Could I get a bit more light, please?”_

_She was sat on the floor, a sketchbook out as she attempted to recreate the map on the wall._

_“Oh, smart thinking Lotte!” Akko said, raising her sword aloft. “_ Noctu Orfei Aude Fraetor!”

_Her sword glowed brightly as-_

“You did not just use one of the Seven Words of Arcturus to cast a light,” Diana said, aghast.

Akko shrunk down in her chair, “I thought it’d be cool.”

“Cool? You are impossible.”

Ursula smiled gently, “I think we’ll finish there. Did everyone enjoy themselves?”

The table responded enthusiastically, even Sucy managed a “yeah,” and Amanda admitted the evening had been “way more fun than I thought it’d be when Akko here asked me if I wanted to do some nerd shit.”

“Same time next week, then?”

“Absolutely!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 sometime next week!
> 
> I didn't roll up exact character sheets for everyone, just gave them a rough grab bag of tricks that early level characters would be expected to have. In my head they're somewhere around level 4-5.
> 
> Akko is a Champion (Paladin) of Desna, goddess of dreams, fortune and stars.  
> Diana is a Ranger who definitely did not min-max.  
> Amanda is a Rogue who spec'd wayyy too heavily into Charisma.  
> Lotte is a Cleric because they'd all agreed to not play casters to help with the escapism, then realised that this would leave Sucy as their only healer.  
> Sucy is, of course, an Alchemist, and blew her entire starting gold on a single vial of the strongest poison she could afford.


	2. Dungeons...

The usual suspects filed into Professor Ursula’s office shortly after dinner. Although one could be forgiven for disputing Akko’s interpretation of “after dinner,” as she’d wolfed her food down in seconds and had been camping outside Ursula’s door for at least fifteen minutes before the others arrived.

Ursula almost took pity on her favourite student, but she’d been finishing up with some last minute preparation. Croix had made this “Game Mastering” sound so easy, how were there so many things to keep track of?

“Glad to see you’re all excited,” Ursula said with a smile, as Amanda sauntered in last.

“How could we not be,” Sucy said, “Akko hasn’t talked about anything else all week.”

“Of course!” Akko was practically, no, _literally_ vibrating in her seat. “I couldn’t wait! I bet this week’s gonna be even better than the last, and I’ll beat even more bosses this time! Do you remember how I pulled the super cool move to save Sucy and beat the giant statue!?”

“No, I’ve only heard it eighty-six times this week, please remind me again,” Sucy glared heavily with her one visible eye.

Ursula smiled at the playful banter, giving the group a couple of minutes to settle in and catch up before clearing her throat. All eyes fell on her as she waved her wand, the table’s surface springing to life as indistinct shapes twisted across it.

“So cool…” Akko’s eyes lit up as the image settled.

“I suppose being a world-renowned illusionist does have its advantages,” Diana said.

Ursula fought the urge to roll her eyes.

_The castle’s imposing gate slowly raised before our heroes. They were escorted by a bored looking guard, who clearly had no idea how important their visit was._

_He led them into a wide open courtyard, its centre dominated by an impossibly ancient oak tree, whose branches reached almost as high as the castle walls._

_“Wait ‘ere,” he said, barely sparing them a second glance. “Captain’ll be with ye shortly.”_

_He exited without a further word, leaving them to marvel at the mighty tree before them. Various parts of the castle appeared to be built into it, with the branches acting as pathways between different rooms on the upper levels. Akko seemed to be weighing up the possibility of climbing up to those higher levels when the other guards left watching them snapped to attention._

_The party turned to see an imposing woman walk in. She was tall, even for an elf, with an angular grace tempered by a fierce scar on her face. Her armour, much lighter than Akko’s new silver plate, was ornately decorated with sharp lines of gold._

_“Never thought I'd see the day I’d be grateful my men hired mercenaries to do their job,” she said, looking between the group. “Captain Titania, at your service. To whom do I owe the pleasure?”_

_“Diana,” she stepped forward, bowing slightly. “And these are my trusted companions.”_

_The rest of the group introduced themselves with varying degrees of awkwardness_ (“ Come on! A 3!? I have like 18 Charisma!”) _, as Titania nodded to each of them in turn. “A pleasure indeed. Now then, I’ve been told you recovered some artifacts from the Old Palace?”_

_“The pleasure is ours,” Diana responded._

_“Keep it in your pants, Diana,” Amanda smirked._

_Diana elected to completely ignore her. “We mostly recovered old coins and gems from the Palace, as well as my companion’s armour,” she gestured towards Akko._

_“Hey! Don’t tell her, she’ll make me give the armour back!” Akko wailed._

_Titania raised a hand placatingly. “Be still, adventurer. You are the ones who braved the danger of the Old Palace, so it is only right you be entitled to its spoils. Consider it a down payment for your next task.”_

_“Next task?” Akko asked, excited._

_“Yes, the matter of the map you brought to me,” Titania said._

“Um, have we shown her that yet?” Lotte looked directly at Ursula.

“Uhh, have you not?” Ursula blanched behind her screen.

“I was in the process of doing so,” Diana offered helpfully.

Ursula righted herself, settling back into the character of Titania to rectify her mistake.

_“Now, to the matter at hand. My soldiers inform me you discovered something much more important than treasure in the Palace. I would know what it is you found.”_

_Lotte presented her drawing of the map they’d discovered. “We found this map in the vault,” she said. “We’re not sure what the red marks represent, we were hoping you’d be able to tell us.”_

At this, the group stopped to appreciate as Lotte pulled out an actual rudimentary drawing of the map, and was immediately flooded by a chorus of, “I wasn’t aware you were an artist,” “hey, pretty neat,” and “that’s so cool!”

She flushed slightly under the praise. “It’s not all that impressive, just a sketch really…”

“It’s lovely to see you getting so involved,” Ursula said, smiling gently as she looked at the map herself. It was surprisingly well copied, considering the image of it had only been visible for a couple of minutes.

_Captain Titania looked over the map, her mood growing darker as she did so. “It’s as we feared then.” She looked up from the map, “Have you shown this to anyone else?”_

_The party shook their heads. “Only the guards who hired us,” Diana said. “They had no knowledge of its significance, but believed you might be able to inform us.”_

_Titania nodded, “I’ll have a word with them, make sure no one’s telling stories after a glass too many.” She studied the map in closer detail. Her frown, if possible, deepened even further._

_“So the red marks are a bad thing, I’m guessing,” Amanda asked._

_“Quite. Each of these locations,” she pointed to each red mark in turn, “have been home to some of the Old Kingdom’s darkest secrets. Secrets better kept that way. Over the past couple of centuries, we’ve had to deal with repercussions from some of the… creatures sealed away getting out.”_

_“How’d they get out?” Akko asked, trying to look concerned while hiding her excitement over the prospect of ancient cursed dungeons._

_“The most frequent cause is foolhardy treasure hunters who go meddling where they shouldn’t be,” Titania says with a meaningful look. “However, sometimes it can be more… deliberate.”_

_Diana nodded, understanding immediately. “Those who would seek to wield the ancient power for their own gain.”_

_“Precisely,” Titania said. “I scarcely need to inform you that such powers are like a hiltless blade. Impossible to wield and certain to destroy those who try.” She turned her attention back to the map, pointing at a large red mark near the edge, “This one concerns me however.”_

_The group craned their necks, gathering around to see the exact spot Titania was indicating. “I’ve no recollection of anything untoward occurring in this region. The other locations are mostly under control, but if anything were to get free here, we’d be completely unprepared.”_

_A chill washed over the group, as Lotte suggested, “Maybe it happened before your time?”_

_She shook her head. “I’ve checked the former captains’ logs enough times. We make sure the next captain is well informed of the dangers.”_

_“Only one thing for it then,” Akko said confidently. “We go wipe out the baddies at the source!”_

_As Titania opened her mouth to disagree, another voice rang out from behind them. “I couldn’t agree more, young lady!”_

_The group turned to see a resplendently dressed man, flaming red hair tumbling across the shoulders of his royal regalia. His features had an otherworldly elegance to them-_

“Why is he so handsome,” Lotte mumbled, unable to draw her eyes away from the conjured image of the prince before them.

Amanda laughed, swooning and fanning herself in an exaggerated motion. “Whew, even I’m not that gay,” she said. “You copy this guy from a raunchy novel cover or something?”

Ursula wilted, hiding her embarrassment behind the screen. “He’s an elven prince, they’re supposed to be pretty.”

“No one’s complaining,” Sucy said with a lecherous grin.

“Can we stop fawning over a conjured image of a man and get on with it?” Diana asked, exasperated.

“Never mind,” Amanda grinned, “I guess someone _is_ that gay.”

Ursula recovered admirably as Diana glared daggers at Amanda.

_Captain Titania dropped to one knee immediately, and the party quickly made courteous bows of their own. The man, who could only be Prince Arvis, continued. “As I was saying, the lady here has the right of it. This is a golden opportunity to nip the danger in the bud! Strike before we are struck!”_

_Akko glowed under the praise, as Titania attempted to dispute, “My Prince, the danger is far too great to risk. My soldiers are stretched thin enough as it is, never mind the matter of your father’s health.”_

_“Which is why the matter need not concern you, Captain,” Arvis said, gesturing towards the group, “we already have the ideal team for the job standing before us!”_

_Titania’s jaw went slack, unable to even voice her disbelief as Arvis spoke. “They’ve already proven their capacity to deal with Old Kingdom nastiness, and sending them won’t require a single one of your precious soldiers. In fact, to ensure our success, I will accompany them myself!”_

_“The Prince is going to join us!?” Akko shouted, unable to believe her own ears._

_“And why not?” Prince Arvis gestured flamboyantly, “I’ll have you know I’m quite proficient with a blade. I daresay I’ll be able to aid in your efforts considerably!”_

_“My Prince, is there naught I can say to sway your mind on this matter?” Titania asked desperately._

_“Relax, dear Captain. I shall be perfectly safe in the care of these capable adventurers!”_

_Titania’s shoulders slumped in defeat, as the party of five processed the fact they were, temporarily, to become the party of six._

“I suppose there’s no stopping him,” Diana resigned herself.

“An extra teammate might be helpful,” Lotte tried to reassure her.

“Wonder how strong Ursula made him,” Amanda mused. “He better not steal any boss kills or Akko’s gonna freak.”

Akko shook her head at her teammates. “You guys are all so doom and gloom, this is gonna be great!”

* * *

“This is the absolute worst,” Amanda yelled to the ceiling, for the fourth time of the evening.

“I’m nearly out of healing,” Lotte said. “I thought I could keep him safe but he keeps walking into every trap…”

“Next time he does it, just let it happen!” Amanda shouted. “It’s natural selection!”

“Why wait, I’ll kill him now,” Sucy said, skimming down her list of poisons.

Diana sighed in frustration, “As tempting as that may be, I fear it defeats the purpose of our mission if we murder our charge.”

“Yeah, it’s like you guys have never played an escort level before or something,” Akko said.

“Do I look like the kinda girl who plays with escorts?” Amanda said.

Sucy snickered. No one else got the joke.

Ursula, who did get the joke and was debating whether it was worth reprimanding Amanda for it, decided to punish her in other ways.

_“Let us not tarry, brave companions!” Prince Arvis yelled, raising his sword aloft, “We must press on, our victory is at hand!”_

_He ran through the door._

_“This motherfu-”_

_“Amanda!” Diana chided._

_“After him!” Akko called to the group, readying her sword and charging headfirst into whatever dangers lay beyond._

_The chamber beyond was filled with undead. There were so many skeletons. Akko was fairly sure this room contained more skeletons than the kingdom contained people. A group of ghouls had raised their heads from feasting on the remnants of what appeared to be an unfortunate rat, and turned towards the loudly intruding prince. A particularly large skeleton stood guard over an ominously glowing purple orb that was levitating at the other end of the chamber._

_As the party burst into the chamber, the large skeleton roared, a cold wind tinged with the smell of decay blasting forth from it, as mismatched pieces of armour flew across the room, attaching themselves to its form._

_“Fear not! I shall put an end to this menace forthwith!” Arvis declared, running directly for the wave of skeletons between him and the armoured boss._

_“I’ll cover him,” Akko said, moving ahead of the prince with a burst of speed and smashing through a skeleton with her blade._

_Amanda moved quickly, preventing Akko from being surrounded by taking out a skeleton on her flank. “We’ve got this, you guys take out the reinforcements!”_

_“Sure, but why does everything have to be immune to poison?” Sucy asked, throwing a vial that exploded into flame in the midst of the very flammable ghouls._

_Not all were struggling quite so badly with the particulars of their foes however, as Lotte unleashed a blast of light, incinerating a clumped group of skeletons further away._

_Diana turned her attention to the boss, unleashing a devastating pinpoint arrow that knocked off a chunk of its armour, bone and metal spraying out behind it from the impact. The armoured skeleton screeched in fury, charging towards the group with vengeance in its not-eyes._

_“If I’m able to land another shot like that, you should be able to finish it off by the time it reaches your position,” Diana called to Akko._

_“Sure, if I wasn’t up to my neck in skeletons!” Akko wailed, cleaving through two more. There was no end to them. For every one she felled, it seemed like a dozen took its place. Alone, they could barely scratch her shiny new armour, but the sheer weight of numbers was starting to take its toll on her bloodied figure._

Diana gasped, noticing something on the battle map. “We made a mistake,” she whispered.

The others all turned to her, confused. “You mean aside from agreeing to bring this maniac?” Amanda asked.

Diana pointed to the maniac in question, and one by one, the others realised their error.

Akko’s attacks had left the path between Prince Arvis and the armoured skeleton completely open.

His turn was next.

_With a mighty battlecry, Prince Arvis charged directly at the armoured skeleton, swinging his sword with far too much force._

_The armoured skeleton brought up its own blade, parrying with ease. Arvis’s sword went spinning out of his grasp and into the mass of skeletons beyond._

_“Shit!” Amanda shouted, hauling out her crossbow and firing a shot at the boss, heedless of the skeletons around her taking the opportunity to land a couple of free hits._

_The party all launched the strongest attacks they had over the skeleton horde, trying desperately to take the boss down before it got a chance to attack, but to no avail. Even Diana landing two arrows wasn’t enough to take out the armoured skeleton, which turned with grim certainty towards Prince Arvis._

_Akko, surrounded by skeletons, bleeding heavily, grunted out two words. “_ Sybilladura… Lelladybura _…”_

“Akko! You can’t!” Diana cried out.

“Are you crazy!? You’ll take like,” Amanda looked at the table, “ _seven_ opportunity attacks!”

“Just let the idiot die,” Sucy said. “And for once I don’t mean you.”

Akko shook her head, determined. “If we can’t keep him alive, we haven’t really won. I’m the only one who can save him, I gotta do it.”

She turned to Ursula, who looked as shocked as any of the players. “I use Paladin’s Retribution, intercepting the attack.”

Ursula didn’t trust herself to speak, hesitantly raising her wand.

_With a burst of light, Akko charges through the wall of skeletons, dashing through the scant space between them as they lash out at her with spear and sword. At the last possible instant, she throws herself into the way of the blade that was heading directly for Prince Arvis’s neck. Her own sword was raised, prepared for a counterattack, but she never got the chance, as her body crashed limply to the floor._

_“Akko!” Diana screamed, reaching her hand out as if she could catch her from across the room._

_“She’s not dead yet!” Amanda grunted, slicing through the skeletons before her. “Lotte, if you got any healing left, now’s the time!”_

_Lotte nodded, determinedly. With her final use of Heal, a wave of soothing energy blasted out from her hands. Skeletons exploded around her, the white magic anathema to their unlife, as her allies felt their wounds ease._

_With a strangled gasp, Akko returned to consciousness, frantically scrabbling for her sword as she pushed herself to her hands and knees._

_The armoured skeleton swayed uneasily, bones and bits of armour falling off it as the healing magic tore it apart. It attempted to raise its sword one final time, but was unceremoniously dropped by another explosive vial courtesy of Sucy._

_As soon as the armoured skeleton collapsed, Diana sprinted over to Akko’s side. “What were you thinking!?” She yelled, tears staining her eyes as she dropped to her knees next to Akko, pulling her close._

_Akko returned the hug weakly, “I knew you guys would have my back,” she said with a gentle laugh that suddenly turned into an explosive cough, drops of blood falling out of her mouth. “Ow.”_

_“Never do that again,” Diana whispered, holding Akko with trembling arms._

_“I’ll try, but no promises.”_

“Adorable as this moment is,” Amanda said, gesturing to Diana, who was actually hugging Akko for real, “does anyone wanna help me make sure there’s no more damn skeletons?”

Sucy and Lotte made quick Perception rolls, confirming that there was, indeed, nothing else hostile present, as the miniature Diana helped lift the miniature Akko to her feet.

“Is there anything we can do to make sense of the floating orb?” Lotte asked, gesturing to the glowing purple orb across the room. “Without touching it, hopefully.”

Ursula nodded, “Make a Religion check, please.”

 _Lotte flinched as the malevolent energies from the orb suddenly assaulted her attuned divine magic senses. “What_ is _that thing?” She asked in horror, as it vibrated in the air, emitting an angry purple glow._

_“A Noir Cell,” Prince Arvis explained, calmly walking towards the orb. “They absorb the latent energy of their surroundings and release it as pure magical power.”_

_“So this thing’s responsible for all the undead?” Amanda asked._

_“That, and so much more,” Arvis stood before the orb, transfixed. “With these Cells, the Old Kingdom became the greatest power the world had ever seen. The things they were capable of… the weapons they created… all of it, lost, when they foolishly sealed away the source of their own glory.”_

_“I’m not sure I like where this is going,” Sucy murmured, surreptitiously checking through her poison supply._

_Prince Arvis turned to face the party, twisting into a bow. “I must thank you all for your assistance. I truly couldn’t have made it here without you.”_

_Akko took a shaky step forward, gripping her sword in both hands. “To help keep this Cell Thingy sealed away, isn’t that right?”_

_Arvis laughed, “Don’t worry, I’ll ensure the Noir Cell is kept in good hands.”_

_“This. Mother. FU-” Amanda started._

_He clicked his fingers._

_Akko yelled in pain as her armour suddenly constricted around her, crushing inwards._

_Time slowed as several things happened all at once. Sucy hauled an acid flask out of her pack and poured it liberally over the joints of Akko’s armour. Amanda dashed towards Arvis. Diana unleashed an arrow directly at the back of his head. Arvis’s hand touched the Noir Cell._

_A sudden explosion of angry, purple energy filled the room, knocking Amanda and Lotte to join Akko on the ground. With inhuman speed, Arvis lifted his free hand, and a chunk of stone fell from the ceiling, intercepting Diana’s arrow a fraction of a second before it hit him._

_Arvis laughed again, long and cruel, as the ground began to tremble, the ceiling collapsing as the pillars holding up the room slowly disintegrated. “I’ll be sure to inform the Captain of your noble sacrifices to ensure the prosperity of the realm!”_

_His form turned ethereal, as if translucent, as he stepped straight through a pillar on his way to the far end of the chamber._

“Shit,” Amanda nearly pounded the table, seeing her prone character surrounded by fallen rocks. “Someone get the bastard, I’m a little stuck right here.”

Sucy applied her deadliest poison, and let out a particularly aggressive curse in Filipino as her dice came up with an 8, sending her crossbow bolt just inches wide of Arvis.

“I guess Diana’s the only one left who can stop him,” Akko said sadly, looking down at her unconscious character.

“It is your turn, Akko,” Ursula reminded her, trying (and failing) to hide how much she’d enjoyed acting out Arvis’s betrayal.

“Ehhh? But I’m unconscious! I can’t do anything!”

“You need to make your recovery check,” Ursula said.

Akko snapped out of her funk immediately. “Yesss! Get ready for the grand return of-”

The dice clattered to a stop on a 2.

“I, uh,” Akko looked around, nervously, “does this mean I’m dead!?”

“I don’t think so,” said Lotte, who, as a healer, had actually read the rules on dying characters. “You have to fail four times before you die.”

“PHEW!” Akko sat down heavily with a sigh of relief.

“But,” Lotte continued, “each time you drop to 0 HP also counts as a fail, so you only have one left.”

Akko nearly fell out of her chair. “Crap! Save meee!”

“Can’t you use your reroll ability?” Amanda asked.

“Not while she’s unconscious,” Sucy was definitely _not_ enjoying how close to death the miniature Akko was.

Akko groaned, “Am I really about to die in the second session?”

“No,” Diana said, voice shaking.

The entire room realised at once that it was now Diana’s turn.

“Diana, no. You gotta take this bastard out!” Amanda jabbed a finger at the image of the escaping prince.

“I stand by my earlier suggestion to let the idiot die,” Sucy said.

“It’s alright,” Akko said, looking at Diana sadly, “I can always make a new character. Barbarian looks fun…”

_Diana stood, transfixed to the spot. Prince Arvis had almost made it to the far wall, with an ancient magical artefact that could cause untold devastation in his hands. She was the only one who could stop him. She turned to look at her comrades. At Amanda and Lotte, struggling to right themselves as the ceiling continued to collapse around them. At Sucy, standing over Akko with an acid flask in hand._

_At Akko, unconscious on the floor. So fragile. So nearly broken._

_She turned again to Arvis. She made the only choice she could._

_Diana dashed across the room, hauling out her medical kit as she did so. As Amanda howled in frustration, she knelt down beside Akko, quickly tending to her wounds, clearing off the melted remnants of the constricting armour._

_With a horrible, choking sound, Akko managed to breathe in. Her eyes fluttered open. She was in so much pain that her body ceased to even register it. She barely even noticed the sensation of trying to breathe against cracked ribs. All she could feel were the teardrops landing on her face._

Diana stood up abruptly, desperately trying to hold back tears. “I… have some duties to attend to that I had forgotten about. My apologies.”

With scarcely another word, she dashed out of Professor Ursula’s office.

A heavy silence hung over the table.

“Um, same time next week?”

The silence persisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal.
> 
> Always remember to be careful about putting things that can potentially upset players into your game! RPGs can be a great way to safely and healthily work through issues, or it can be an unwelcome reminder of the kind of things you're trying to get a break from in the first place. Always ask your players if you're not sure!
> 
> Chapter 3 coming next week!


	3. Downtime Session

“I’d like to apologise for my behaviour during your game yesterday,” Diana said.

She sat in Professor Ursula’s office, nursing a freshly poured cup of tea. Ursula set the kettle to the side. “You have nothing to apologise for,” she sat down with her own cup. “I should have realised that seeing Akko in danger would be upsetting for you, illusion or not.”

“Thank you,” Diana raised the tea to her lips, mulling over her response. “It’s… challenging sometimes. Seeing Akko put herself at such risk,” she sighed. “I know it was just a game, but she’s just as reckless in reality.”

Ursula tried to smile in response, but it looked weak. “She’s fortunate to have people in her life who can help her out of the messes she finds herself in. And she’s grown into someone very capable of helping herself, if it comes to it.”

“I- We can’t always be there for her, though.” Diana fidgeted, a never before seen sight. “Sometimes… I fear that she’ll do something foolish and I won’t be there to help her. No one will be. That she’ll get herself hurt, badly.”

Ursula’s answering smile was gentler this time. “You can’t always be there to protect her.”

“I can’t protect her at all!” A couple of tears flew from Diana’s cheeks at her outburst. “I couldn’t protect her in my own home! My aunt tried to kill her, and all I could do was patch her up after she risked her life to help me.”

Ursula almost recoiled in shock. “I’d heard nasty things about Daryl Cavendish but I never-”

“Or the Pappiliodya!  _ I’m _ the one she needed protecting from then!” She breathed out deeply, “I never even apologised.”

“There’s nothing stopping you from apologising now,” Ursula said.

“That’s the issue,” Diana said, “it wouldn’t make a difference. She’d just laugh about it and say it doesn’t matter now.”

“She’d call you silly for even bringing it up,” Ursula said with a knowing smile.

“Exactly,” Diana caught the ghost of her own smile at the edge of her lips. Akko could have that effect on her, even when she wasn’t present. She took another sip of tea. “I should still apologise. Out of principle, if nothing else.”

“No time like the present,” Ursula took a sip from her own cup.

Diana nodded, “I’ll be seeing her this evening. I shall take the time to apologise properly then.”

“Good,” Ursula’s smile seemed… mischievous, almost?

Diana raised an eyebrow, slightly. “Is there something you wish to say, Professor?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Ursula hid her definitely-not-smirk with her teacup. “It’s just nice to see the two of you spending so much time together.”

Diana wasn’t buying it, affixing her with a withering glare. “Don’t teachers have better things to do than gossip about their students?”

Ursula elected to remain silent, finishing her tea.

Diana looked down at her own cup, contemplating in silence. “I…” she began, clearly having more to say but uncharacteristically at a loss as to how to say it, “I do not wish to force Akko to change.”

“I never thought you did,” Ursula reassured her.

“And yet, there’s still this part of me that wishes she would be less..” Diana sighed in frustration with herself. “It’s a horrible thing to even think, much less admit. Wish she was more cautious? I might as well wish she was less Akko. How can even part of me think that about someone I-” she caught herself. “About… someone I care for so much.”

Ursula thought about reaching out a hand to console Diana, then decided against it. Physical contact and Diana did not often mix. “No one can control having those kinds of thoughts, Diana. What’s important is how you choose to act on them,” she offered her best reassuring smile. “You’re not controlling, nor are you manipulative. You’ve been a wonderful influence on Akko, even if you can’t see it yourself.”

Diana shook her head, smiling lightly to herself, “I don’t think anyone can truly influence Akko.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Ursula said. “Since the two of you have become closer, you've both become different people. Better people.”

Diana looked up, surprised, as Ursula continued. “The truth is, people can change, and they can be changed by others. But it’s like shaping a tree as it grows. Day by day, nothing happens, until you wonder how the person you knew but a few months ago became the person you know now.”

“I fail to see how that’s not exactly what I was afraid of,” Diana said.

Ursula's face fell, “Maybe the gardening metaphor was a bit off. It’s not deliberate. You’ve never tried to change Akko, but she’s becoming a better person for having you in her life. Just like you’re becoming a better person for having her in your life.”

“I suppose that much is true,” Diana conceded.

“See?” Ursula said. “You can acknowledge that you’ve become a better person through knowing Akko. Is it so hard to imagine that the same might be true for her?”

“You’re talking to me like I’m a child,” Diana evaded.

“You’re seventeen.” Ursula couldn’t do the single eyebrow arch quite the same way Diana could, but she could certainly try. “You’re not supposed to have everything worked out just yet, no matter how much you think you should.”

Diana didn’t huff, because Diana Cavendish  _ did not _ huff. But she was doing something very similar to huffing. “I never said-”

“Diana, please. Allow me to give you advice I wished I’d received when I was your age.”

Diana looked at her, quizzically, silently beckoning her to continue.

“I- I know how it feels to love someone and to wish, to truly believe, that you can change them for the better. And for that person to feel the same way about you,” she wasn’t sure why she was being so open, with a student no less, but something about the conversation had opened a well of honesty from within her. “And slowly, you both twist one another into people that neither of you wanted to be or wanted them to become.”

“I had no idea,” Diana whispered. “Croix?”

Ursula sighed, staring wistfully out the window. “I wanted, no,  _ needed _ to believe she was OK with being second fiddle. That she was happy supporting me in the background while I searched for the Words and _ wowed the world _ as Shiny Chariot,” there was a bitterness to her voice that she couldn’t hide. “I couldn’t convince myself that she was being honest, so I had to convince her. To place her into the mould that she needed to fit in for me to feel comfortable.” She turned back to Diana, “You and Akko aren’t like that. You make each other stronger. I’d almost be jealous if I weren’t so happy for the two of you.”

“Professor,” Diana wasn’t sure how to respond. “Thank you.”

Ursula forced a smile back onto her face, “If I ever thought you or Akko were hurting each other the same way we did, I’d be the first to say so. Believe me.”

“I do,” Diana said.

Ursula tried to reassure her some more. “Akko may never grow out of throwing herself into danger, but she has become more thoughtful about it.”

“I know. Believe me I do, it's just...” Diana fidgeted again, deliberating over what to say next. “Professor Ursula, how much could everyone see of our fight with the Noir Missile?”

“Almost everything,” Ursula said quietly.

“Then you saw Akko fall.”

“Yes.”

Diana’s hands clenched, tears threatening to return to her cheeks once more. “It was only ten seconds, maybe less. But for those ten seconds, I fully believed, I  _ knew _ , that my closest friend was dead.” The tears were falling now, Diana couldn’t even attempt to stop them. “I almost had enough time to- to process it. The shock almost wore off. I had time to  _ fully realise _ that Akko was dead. And I couldn’t stop it.”

Ursula sat in silence. There was nothing she could say, no sympathy she could offer that wouldn’t feel pithy.

“I didn’t even think about how I’d failed, or even that I was surely about to die too,” Diana’s chest heaved as she took in a heavy breath. “All my mind could process was that Akko was dead. And even though she’s alive, I can never let go of the experience, that  _ finality _ of seeing her fall. Seeing her die.”

“Oh, Diana,” Ursula couldn’t stop herself. She wrapped Diana in a hug. Diana stiffened immediately, then allowed herself to soften into it, leaning into Ursula’s shoulder as she sobbed.

“You’re so young, but you’ve had to struggle with something this painful,” Ursula whispered, squeezing Diana gently. “Do you have any idea of how brave you are?”

Diana sniffed heavily, her breath coming out shakily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t come here to, to-”

“It’s OK,” Ursula held her gently. “I’m sorry you’ve had to hold this in for so long.”

They stayed like that for some time, Diana’s crying gently subsiding as Ursula hugged her.

“It will get better,” Ursula said, so softly Diana barely noticed it over her own sobs. “It may never leave, but it will get better. I promise you.”

Diana heaved in a breath, nodding against Ursula’s shoulder. She pulled herself away. “My apologies, Professor. And thank you.”

“Think nothing of it,” Ursula said. “Although do promise me one thing, Diana?”

Diana blinked the last of her tears away, looking inquiringly at Ursula.

“Get yourself a therapist. A really expensive one.”

Diana actually laughed at that. Not hard, but it was something. “I may just do that. Particularly for visits home.”

“And I’ll tone down the, um, bloodiness of the illusions for the next game, OK?” Ursula said sheepishly.

“I think I’d prefer that, thank you,” Diana looked similarly sheepish.

Diana moved towards the door, as Ursula called after her, “Diana, before you go!”

Diana looked over her shoulder, the handle halfway turned.

“One final piece of advice I wish I’d received when I was your age,” she was wearing that same mischievous smile from earlier. “Just ask her out already.”

_ “Thank you, Professor!” _ Diana was out the door in a flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little on the short side but this chapter's kind of its own thing so it works. Back to the usual shenanigans later this week hopefully!
> 
> Feedback / comments appreciated as always!


	4. Second Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the positive comments on the last chapter, both here and elsewhere. I'd kinda considered posting that chapter as a separate thing due to the tone being so different from the rest of the fic but you all seem to have really enjoyed it, thanks!

It had taken some convincing, and an apology for “making a scene” from Diana, but the group was once again gathered in Professor Ursula’s office. There was a palpable sense of tension in the air as Ursula’s wand brought the surface of the table to life, a melange of colours morphing into the form of a small camp in the wilderness.

_Their escape from the collapsing dungeon had been less harrowing than expected, and they now sat quietly nursing their wounds around their small campfire. The crackling of the flame was the only sound to break the silence, and the five of them stared sullenly into it. Night had closed, first watch was approaching, and no one had said so much as a word since they’d made camp._

_Akko’s gaze was downcast, not daring to look any of her allies in the eye. She wanted to speak, wanted to hype them up for the great battle that was to come tomorrow, but all she could do was stare into the fire. She couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt weighing on her shoulders. It had been her reckless charge that had put them in such a dire situation, that had driven Diana to such a panic. And it had been all to save Prince Arvis, the very man they were heading to fight the next day._

_She sighed to herself. What the party needed right now, more than anything, was trust in one another. To have the belief that their allies would make the right decisions when the chips were down. But how was she meant to help that when half the reason everyone was so anxious was their lack of faith in her to do anything not completely stupid._

_Unless…_

“So I was thinking,” Akko started, fidgeting in her seat. The group turned to her, a mixture of disinterest and concern. “Our next fights are gonna be pretty hard.”

“Obviously,” Sucy deadpanned.

“So that’s why,” Akko took a deep breath, “we’re gonna _plan_.”

That got their attention.

“I’m listening,” Amanda said, still leaning back. “But only if it’s better than ‘run at the baddies and kill them’.”

Akko shook her head, “No not that. Well, kinda that, but other things too!” She turned to Lotte, “Lotte, that big healing blast you killed all the skeletons with looked super strong. What can we do to help you use it?”

Lotte looked up. “Um, it takes my whole turn to cast it like that, so I can’t move to get into a better position. And it heals all living creatures, not just allies.”

Akko nodded, excitement rising in her voice. “So how does this sound. If we have another fight that’s against a big group of skeletons or zombies or whatever, then we’ll try to get them grouped up near Lotte so she can blow them all up!”

“That’s… a good idea,” Diana said.

“Try not to sound too surprised,” Akko stuck her tongue out at her.

“If we wanna get them all grouped up,” Amanda interjected, “we can’t really take the fight to them like we usually do. Gotta stay tight so we can keep them from swarming Lotte before she can get the cast off.”

“If we can get a bunch of them to attack me, then move Lotte into position, all you guys have to do is keep them off Lotte for a turn,” Akko suggested.

“And keep you alive through two rounds of being whaled on by undead,” Amanda countered, “without any healing until Lotte drops the big blast.

Akko wilted a little, “I can handle it, probably.”

Sucy sighed, heavily. “Fine.”

“Huh?” Akko turned to her, her confusion mirrored by the rest of the party.

“I’ll make a damn healing elixir so you can keep yourself alive, happy?” Sucy spat out, as if the words were causing her physical pain.

“Sucy!” Akko leapt out of her chair, running around the table to lift Sucy into a hug. “Thank youuu!”

“I take it back,” Sucy said, attempting to extricate herself from Akko’s arms.

The group were laughing now. The silence, the anxious stares downwards, all nowhere to be seen. Ursula couldn’t help smiling to herself, the effect Akko had on people never ceased to amaze her.

“If I may,” Diana said, “Lotte mentioned that her healing spell may inadvertently heal our non-undead enemies. It would be wise to remove such foes before she casts her spell. That in mind, I believe my character is the most capable of dealing with a single target without breaking our formation.”

“Much and all as I hate to say it, you’re right about being the best at oneshotting stuff,” Amanda conceded. “I’ll handle protecting Lotte then. Mushrooms!” Sucy fixated one eye on Amanda. “You help Akko with crowd control, and try not to light her up this time.”

“No promises.”

Groans rang out as usual at Sucy’s nonsense, but Akko seemed unperturbed. “Plan complete,” she said, hopping into a pose on her chair, “yay!”

“One problem, oh fearless leader,” Amanda said. “What if we fight something that _isn’t_ a giant horde of undead?”

Akko froze mid pose. “That’s… uh… Sucy!” She pointed dramatically. “Tell me how those mutation thingies work!”

Sucy’s delighted grin could send chills down the spine, “I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

_With plans complete and morale significantly improved, the party rested for the night, regaining their strength for the battle to come. The night passed with little incident, Diana’s combination of ranger skills and inherent elven reduced need for sleep ensured no wayward monsters found their way into the camp._

_Their journey back to the capital was by no means easy, but no real challenge to adventurers as seasoned as they were. Spirits were high, conversation lively as they rehashed and refined details of the plans they’d come up with the last night._

_Prince Arvis himself was the most pressing question. His battle capabilities remained a complete mystery to them, their sole information being the fact they’d seen him walk through a wall while escaping the collapsing dungeon. Which, while useful to know for preventing further escapes, told them little about what he could actually do in combat._

_“He said the Old Kingdom used those orb things to create weapons, right?” Amanda asked. “I wonder if that means actual weapons, or just those undead it was summoning.”_

_“Either seems possible,” Diana mused, “or even something else we’ve not considered. While I imagine he’ll mostly fight with magic, it would be unwise to underestimate his capability with regular weaponry.”_

_“If it turns out he’s actually good with a sword after all that bullshit he put us through, I swear...” Amanda said._

_“Hmm,” Akko said, “I’ve been thinking.”_

_“Always dangerous,” Sucy said._

_“What was his plan if I hadn’t rushed in to save him?” Akko said, continuing straight past Sucy’s comment. “He must’ve had some way to protect himself, right?”_

_“Nah, I think you’re just that easy to predict,” Amanda teased._

_“I think Akko has a point,” Lotte piped up. “I understand he was trying to weaken us, and force me to use up my heal spells, but he put himself in danger so often that he must have had a backup plan in case we messed up.”_

_“Or if Sucy finally snapped and did the gods’ work for them,” Amanda added._

_“Don’t worry, I’ll make up for lost time,” Sucy said, viciously._

_“Hey, smiting people for the gods is_ my _thing guys!” Akko complained. “Get your own gimmick!”_

_Laughter filled the air once again._

_And was immediately silenced as they crested the hill overlooking the capital._

_Smoke trailed towards the sky as the city burned. Though they were over a mile away, they could easily make out the sights and sounds of fighting in the streets. Everything they could see was suffused by dark magic, tinting the flames, the smoke, even the surrounding fields with an unnatural purple glow. A symphony of panicked screams rose from the city, with the occasional shriek as a scream was silenced._

_“Everyone, move!” Akko shouted, drawing her sword and racing towards the capital as fast as physically possible._

_Her friends sprinted alongside her, Diana and Amanda’s elven heritage and lighter armour actually granting them a slight lead as the party blitzed across the mile separating them from the city._

_They broke into the city a couple of minutes later, still at a dead run, and were immediately welcomed by the sight of six zombies. The zombies hadn’t noticed them yet, their focus entirely on the terrified family backed into the corner of the square._

_The zombies’ inattentiveness could have been an exploitable weakness, but Akko wasn’t about to use some hapless civilians as bait. “Hey uglies, over here!” She brandished her sword as one zombie turned to her._

_It was about this point that Akko really wished she’d brought a ranged weapon, as the remaining zombies ignored her, focused on their prize. Right up until an arrow left one with a gaping hole where its head previously was._

_“Nice shot Diana!” Akko called._

_The huddling peasants looked up, shocked, as the zombie exploded. “Save us, please!” they begged, the mother standing bravely between the zombies and her children._

_“Remember to conserve your strength,” Diana instructed, notching another arrow. “There will be more dangerous battles than this ahead.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, no wasting power moves on the small fry, got it,” Amanda said, dashing quickly into range to hurl a pair of daggers at two zombies._

_Sucy and Lotte nodded in agreement, Sucy ignoring her bombs in favour of simply firing a crossbow bolt, while Lotte cast a light cantrip, littering the ground with rotting chunks of zombie flesh._

_The first zombie charged at Akko, biting so hard its teeth dented her armour at the shoulder. Her senses were assaulted by the foul smell, trying to fight off the sickening pain in her shoulder._

Dice clattered.

“Ha, not even close,” Akko celebrated. “You’ll need a lot more than that to break _my_ Fortitude.”

“Please keep them away from the rest of us,” Lotte said, looking with concern at her paltry Fortitude, a whole 6 points below Akko’s.

“Way ahead of you,” Akko said, throwing her dice with a victorious flourish.

_Akko’s blade struck twice. The first cleaved the zombie clean in two, screeching as it fell. Its upper half flailed on the ground, reaching for her ankles as she twisted her blade into a fierce thrust, splitting its head apart._

_The rotting smell was overwhelming. Lotte looked like she was about to vomit, and one of the huddled children actually did, adding to the overall unpleasantness._

_The other zombies were less successful, missing Amanda entirely, and landing only a glancing blow against Sucy._

“How did you succeed on your save with a _5!?”_ Amanda stared wide-eyed at the roll.

“Because Alchemists are cooler than you,” Sucy smirked.

_Mopping up the zombies didn’t take them long. The ones Amanda and Sucy had weakened fell easily, and another cantrip from Lotte was enough to finish the last one._

_As the last zombie fell, there was a short moment of relative quiet, before one of the children started wailing loudly._

_“Thank you so much,” the mother said, clutching her children close._

_Akko is immediately by her side, sheathing her sword. “Are you OK? No one’s hurt?”_

_The woman shook her head, as Diana spoke up, “Can you tell us anything about what’s going on here?”_

_The woman seems right on the verge of panic, but Akko and Diana’s calming presence is enough to keep her stable for now. “I don’t know, they just came out of nowhere. One broke into our house and we tried to run away as fast as we could, but that just attracted more and-”_

_“And they’re gone now, aren’t they?” Akko reassured her with a smile._

_The woman took a deep breath, nodding to herself. “Yes, yes thank you again.”_

_“Do we have any idea where they’re coming from?” Amanda asked her._

_“Graveyard, probably,” Sucy interjected with a shrug._

_A moment passed._

_“...Dumb question now that I think about it,” Amanda rubbed the back of her neck._

_“Can you direct us to the graveyard?” Diana turned back to the woman._

_“Y-yes, my husband works on the street right next to it!” Panic returned, gripping the woman’s heart as she began to wail, “Oh please, please you must get there before it’s too late! Unless it’s too late already!”_

_“Miss, please just calm down and tell us where the graveyard is so we can go save your husband-” Diana tried to say._

_The children started crying as well, as their mother continued. “He’s so inattentive, he probably wouldn’t even notice! And then what are the kids and I going to do-”_

_Sucy interrupts by shoving a potion into the woman’s mouth._

_“Sucy! What are you doing!?” Akko shrieked._

_“Cognitive elixir,” Sucy said, simply. “Was gonna see if it made you any less dumb, but she needs it more.”_

_As the shock wore off, the woman’s eyes cleared, blinking rapidly as she refocused. “That way, turn right on Bentbranch Street. You’ll want to avoid the larger roads, so head north until you reach the tannery district. The graveyard’s nestled against the city walls near there.”_

_“Thank you for your assistance,” Sucy said, setting the potion back into her pack._

_The rest of the group looked at her in horror._

_“What? We had a problem, I solved the problem,” Sucy said._

_“I agree,” the temporarily hyper-intelligent mother said. “Standing around here really achieves nothing, I would much rather you headed to the graveyard as soon as you are able.”_

_Amanda shook her head, laughing softly, “Alright, you heard the lady. That graveyard full of undead ain’t gonna kill itself!”_

_“Aren’t they already dead?” Akko asked, moving to the front of the party._

_“Unkill, then! Whatever, get moving!” Amanda shouted._

* * *

_Our heroes made it through the city without too much hassle. They managed to avoid encountering too many undead on the way, although Diana did spot another family being chased by a small group of them, which Akko had immediately charged out to deal with._

_Before long, they arrived at the graveyard, still in high spirits and fully prepared for the battle to come._

_Which was good because the graveyard was_ covered _in undead._

_Even from the entrance, they could see dozens, if not over a hundred gravestones, and a skeleton or zombie for every one. Some shambled towards the entrance, clearly intending to join with the horde terrorising the city._

_Akko turned to her teammates, who nodded affirmation. She charged forward, sword raised, “No you don’t!”_

_The zombies were torn apart before they even knew what had hit them. There was just one unfortunate downside, however._

_“I think they might have noticed us,” Amanda remarked._

_“What gave it away?” Sucy asked, as practically the entire contents of the graveyard converged on them at once._

_Suddenly, a sound they weren’t expecting drifted from out of their vision. A soft laugh, dripping with venom. “Oh, we have unexpected guests.”_

_A refined elven woman stepped out from behind a tombstone, cruel and sharp features framed by mint-coloured hair, which coiled like snakes across her shoulders against her dark green robe. “It would appear our beloved Prince overestimated himself once again,” she drawled. “No matter, I’m well used to cleaning up after royal messes.” She raised a hand, twisting with dark magic as-_

“Huh, she kinda looks like your Aunt,” Akko said, glancing at Diana.

“I suppose I can see some superficial resemblance,” Diana said noncommittally, narrowing her eyes at Ursula as she did so.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Ursula deadpanned, “I merely based Lady Arielle off the worst excesses of the English aristocracy.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have been enjoying a cup of tea when you came up with her, would you Professor?” Diana asked pointedly.

“Perhaps.”

_Lady Arielle continued casting her spell, the same dark purple magic they’d seen in the dungeon twisting forth from her fingers as several of the zombies nearest to her began to convulse. They collapsed on top of one another, moaning unintelligibly as their forms distorted and merged, melding together into a truly enormous form._

_It shrieked loudly, and the other zombies and skeletons responded to its cry, filling the air with a putrid stench as they hissed and screamed. The enormous zombie wasted no time, reaching to grab another zombie and hurtling it into the party’s midst._

_“Shit, incoming!” Amanda called, diving out of the way as the smaller zombie smashed into the earth right next to her. Entire limbs exploded off the zombie on impact, but it still hauled itself up, reaching for Lotte with its one remaining arm._

_Lotte shrieked in panic, but Diana swiftly drove a shortsword through its neck. “Don’t falter!” Diana called out. “Remember the plan!” She sheathed her sword and quickly pulled out her bow, turning her attention to Lady Arielle._

_“Alright!” Akko shouted, pulling out a strangely coloured vial from her satchel and downing it in a single gulp. Immediately, her form started to shift and mutate. Her armour strained to accommodate as her body grew larger and sturdier. Her hair solidified into the form of a helmet around her now squat face, and though no other part of her was visible past the armour, she could feel her skin toughening like a second layer of protection._

_“This is_ amazing _,” Sucy crowed._

 _Akko groaned, adjusting to her new form, before gripping her greatsword in both hands and dashing straight into the fray. Unfortunately, she quickly realised that ‘dashing’ was_ significantly _slower than she was used to, and it took her a few seconds to even reach the first zombie._

_By the time she’d made it, the quicker moving skeletons had already closed the distance and had the party thoroughly surrounded. Akko stood firm as a pair of them charged her, shrugging off their blows without much issue._

_“Alright ladies, time to give our fearless leader the support she needs!” Amanda took a couple steps, making sure to stay near Lotte as her daggers lashed out at the nearest skeleton._

“Alright,” Lotte said, voice uncertain, “I cast Sanctuary.”

This was the part of the plan she’d been least sure on. The Sanctuary spell protected her from being attacked by low level undead until she broke it by casting a damaging spell. The fact she’d be taking absolutely no hits and leaving her teammates with an even heavier burden was alarming, but they’d assured her that they could handle it, and that she was too essential to the plan to risk dropping to some unfortunate crits.

“Atta girl,” Amanda flashed her a grin, “we got this.”

_Despite Amanda’s bravado, the situation was quickly turning for the worse. The zombie amalgamation charged towards them, surprisingly fast for its size, hurling more zombies into their midst as it did so. One even landed directly on Sucy, knocking her to the ground as the half-exploded zombie clawed at her._

_“Sucy!” Akko shouted, “need backup?”_

_“Stick to your damn plan!” Sucy growled back, throwing the zombie off and hauling herself up enough to fire a crossbow bolt through its skull._

_Akko nodded, her enhanced strength allowing her to easily cleave through the few skeletons surrounding her, and place herself directly between her allies and the path of the oncoming horde. “Bring it on!”_

_“Gladly,” Lady Arielle responded, raising her hand as two coils of dark green magic sprayed out into the air, landing on the ground as fully formed snakes._

“Are you serious?” Diana levelled an icy stare at Ursula.

Ursula just smiled back.

_The first snake immediately lashed out at Akko, fangs sinking into the cracks in her armour, shocking her system with the venom._

_“Oh, were you expecting your poison resistance to help you?” Arielle laughed darkly. “Let’s see how you fare when my serpents strip you of it!”_

_Akko let out a choking gasp, suddenly painfully aware of just how many zombies were in reach of her now that her resistance to their poison had been stripped away._

_“Uh, guys, little help here!” Amanda struggled from beneath the coils of the second serpent wrapping itself tightly around her._

All eyes turned expectantly to Diana.

She was looking intently at the miniature form of Lady Arielle, concern knitting her brows together as she considered her next move.

“Hey, Diana, old buddy old pal of mine,” Amanda started, “I get the issue, but she isn’t _actually_ your aunt so if you wanna-”

“Don’t worry,” Diana said, a sharp smile flashing across her face, “I am _fully_ aware. I was simply determining the most efficient way to annihilate her.”

Several eyebrows were raised, as Diana took a breath. “As Lady Arielle is already my hunted target, I will use Hunter’s Precision, followed by Deadly Shot, granting me a significant increase in critical damage, at the expense of accuracy.”

A single die clattered.

“Holy shit,” Akko and Amanda breathed out as one.

Diana looked up, a satisfied smile on her face, “I believe a natural 20 suffices to hit?”

_Diana raised her bow, noticing that Lady Arielle was caught up in summoning and controlling her snakes. The arrow streaked out of her bow with impossible speed and precision, leaving a trail of smoke and light in the air as it flew unerringly towards its target. Lady Arielle’s eyes had just a second to widen in shock, as the space between them was suddenly filled by the shaft of Diana’s arrow. With nary another word, both she and her snakes fell to the ground._

“That was… therapeutic,” Diana said.

There was a moment of silence as the group processed what they’d just seen. “And I thought _my_ family drama was bad,” Amanda said.

“You have no idea,” Akko grumbled.

_While Lady Arielle was no longer in the fight, her death had done little to halt the advance of the undead. Dozens swarmed around Akko, the putrid jaws of the zombies striking particularly hard now her poison resistance was gone. She struggled against the mass of limbs surrounding her, hauling out the single healing potion Sucy had graced her with, “Bottoms up.”_

_Keeping the potion down was a struggle. Her stomach was already churning from the foul stench surrounding her, and the potion’s awful taste was doing little to help. She somehow managed to keep herself from throwing it up, and felt a wave of calm flow across her body, as her wounds knit back together almost immediately._

_Amanda was faring little better. The snake coiling around her had fallen, but it had left her exposed in the path of the onrushing horde. She weathered a few strikes from the skeletons, but her eyes widened as the enormous zombie fusion finally made its way into the fight. It raised an arm bigger than Amanda’s entire body, swinging its fist down in a crushing blow._

_“Ah, crap.”_

“I can intercept it,” Akko said, “if you want.”

Amanda paused, mulling over the offer. “You’ll probably die to opportunity attacks before you even make it to me,” she sighed.

“I just healed, I can make it,” Akko said.

Amanda thought for a second, then shook her head. “Nah, not worth it. Save it for when it’s needed later, I can be patched up.”

“If you’re sure…” Akko conceded.

Diana gently took Akko’s hand in her own, running her thumb over the back of her hand. “Well done,” she whispered.

“Huh?” Akko’s brain struggled to catch up.

“On taking the time to ask your allies, rather than rushing in,” Diana clarified, smiling softly at her. “It’s a pleasant change.”

Akko laughed, a little sheepishly. She went to rub the back of her neck, then realised her hand was still in Diana’s and she’d just revealed this fact to the entire table. “It’s not all that big a deal!” she squeaked, hastily dropping her hand back down.

_The zombie hulk’s arm continued on its trajectory, smashing straight into Amanda and carrying on until it crushed her into the floor. Not dead, but very very unconscious._

_Sucy rooted desperately through her pack, deciding on a larger vial of viscous yellow liquid. She hurled it at a group that hadn’t yet made it to Amanda. Thick, sticky goop exploded out of the vial, covering zombie and skeleton alike. They struggled to move, falling over against one another as the sticky substance kept them firmly rooted to the ground._

_“Hope that’s enough to hold them,” Sucy muttered._

_The horde was unending, inexorable. Akko was nearly drowning in zombies, and Amanda had only the few seconds granted by Sucy’s maneuver to spare before the swarm ripped her apart._

_Lotte began to glow with white magic._

_With a deep breath, she raised her hands to the air with a cry of, “Parantaa!”_

_Holy magic burst forth from her hands, bathing everything in sight with its radiance. A second later, there was a shockwave of explosions as the undead were completely torn apart. Amanda gasped, consciousness returning just in time to see dozens of zombies and skeletons torn to pieces in front of her. The enormous zombie started falling apart, lumps of it landing awkwardly nearby as it returned to its constituent parts._

_“Mayenab Dysheebudo!” Akko cried, charging into the midst of the newly reformed zombies, her potion enhanced strength sending her sword cleaving through three at once. A couple of well placed arrows from Diana later, and the graveyard lay still once more._

_At least, right up until Akko leapt into the air, “The plan worked! Yay!”_

* * *

_They spent some time making sure Akko and Amanda were patched up, or as patched up as could be managed by Diana’s medicine kit alone._

_The few civilians who’d been hiding in the nearby streets cautiously entered the graveyard, celebrating wildly when they discovered that the root of the infestation had been dealt with. Lotte made sure to find the husband of the woman who had helped them earlier, and gently informed him that his family was safe._

_From there, there was only one possible destination. They all knew where it had to end._

_A scant few minutes later, they found themselves once again walking through the gates of the palace. It was completely empty. There were no undead to be found, and the guards were all absent, presumably dealing with the situation in the city._

_They strode through empty corridors and silent halls, remembering the route they’d walked the morning before as they made their way into the courtyard._

_The enormous tree stood before them once more, the unnatural purple light that surrounded the city filtering strangely through its leaves and branches, providing rippling cascades of evening and night as they walked._

_Directly in front of it, stood Prince Arvis._

_“What kept you?” he smiled, spreading his arms wide. “I almost thought you were going to miss the show.”_

_Their weapons were already drawn. Akko stood at their front with greatsword in hand. She raised it, levelling it directly at Prince Arvis as she spoke, “We’re stopping you, right here and now!”_

_Arvis laughed, his voice carrying to the heavens through the enormous tree’s branches. “Oh, but how can you stop that which has already begun!”_

_The ground began to tremble, a network of cracks spreading across the earth._

_“Now witness the rebirth of this great nation!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the final chapter to come! Hopefully I should have it with you by next weekend, or the week after at the latest.
> 
> Reviews and comments welcome as always, I really do appreciate them.


	5. ...and Dragons

_The heroes stood strong, not even breaking stride in their united dash forward as the earth trembled and broke around them. Akko led the charge, screaming a wordless battle cry as she closed the distance._

_“Your valiant efforts shall make for a fine obituary!” Prince Arvis declared, raising his hands towards them. His fingers flashed with magic as he incanted in Old Elvish, and a ball of flame shot forth from his hands._

_The fireball flew at incredible speed, and it took all of Sucy and Diana’s effort to dodge to either side at the last possible second. Lotte hadn’t been so fortunate, crying in pain as the fire struck._

_Akko hadn’t even tried to dodge. She took the hit in stride and kept running straight at Arvis._

_Arvis flinched back in shock, Akko’s reckless maneuver robbing him of the seconds he needed to get away from her attack. But Akko didn’t swing her sword. Instead, she pulled out a light blue vial, and smashed it directly over Arvis’s chest._

At least, that had been the plan. Never before had the number 1 caused Akko quite so much despair as in that moment, when she saw it staring up at her from her traitorous die.

There was a sympathetic groan from around the table as Akko wailed at her misfortune. “Sorry! I ruined the plan!”

“Not your fault,” Sucy, of all people, said, “we can adjust.”

“We knew something would go wrong,” Lotte said, “but I was hoping it wouldn’t be quite this early.”

“No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy,” Diana said gently, trying to reassure Akko. “I believe I can still fulfil my role of ‘shoot him a bunch’,” she said with a wry smile.

_The vial spilled out of Akko’s hands, shattering on the ground in a spray of freezing blue liquid. Arvis barked out a laugh, but was cut short as an arrow streaked out of Diana’s bow, embedding itself in his shoulder._

_Arvis grimaced in pain, yanking the arrow out. “Let’s have no more of that,” he growled, raising a hand once more. A wall of flame rose with it, encircling the space around himself and Akko in a ten foot high ring of fire._

_Lotte stumbled out of the burning ground left by the earlier fireball. However, she didn’t cast a spell, or do anything. She simply continued muttering the same mantra she’d been whispering under her breath since before the battle began._

_Sucy shook herself off, stumbling from her last second dodge and the ground’s continued upheaval. She moved closer to Akko and Arvis’s now private battlefield, hefting another blue vial in her hand. It wasn’t going to be an easy throw, and if she missed, she’d probably hit Akko. Even if she hit, she’d likely be caught in the splash._

_“Do it!” Akko called, voice carrying through the flames._

_Sucy threw the vial._

_It arced through the air, glinting in the sun that filtered through the trees as it cleared the wall and curved downwards. There was no time for Arvis to react as the frost vial exploded directly on top of him in a shower of rapidly cooling chemicals. His movements slowed, his arm frozen still above his head, leaving him completely unable to react to what happened next._

_“Now!” Akko shouted, gritting her teeth against the splash of freezing cold._

_A single leaf fluttered down as a shadow detached itself from the tree, diving with the silence and precision of an owl on the hunt. There was no shriek of pain, no thud of feet, not a single sound to herald Amanda landing directly behind Arvis and slamming her daggers right into his back._

_Her form was shrouded in mist, the edge of her cloak translucent as it fluttered. The unnatural silence that had marked her arrival enveloped the entire space within the flames, muting Arvis’s grunt of pain as Akko followed up Amanda’s attack with a sword strike of her own._

_“It worked!” Lotte cheered, her brow still knit in concentration as she struggled to maintain the magical silence emanating from Amanda._

_“Don’t let your guard down,” Diana warned, “he can still cast non-verbal spells.”_

_Within the circle of flames, Arvis wrenched his arm free of the ice. He flexed his fingers a bit, then plunged his arm into the depths of his robe, hauling out the Noir Cell with a flourish. Dark energy poured from the cell and into his hand, morphing into the shape of a wickedly curved longsword._

Amanda pounded the table.

“You seem upset,” Sucy grinned, “anything you wanna say about it?”

Amanda glared at her, as Akko made angry flailing gestures in the background.

“I do admire your commitment to the role,” Ursula said with a gentle laugh.

“I’m fairly certain this is the longest Amanda has ever gone without speaking,” Diana said.

“Akko too,” Sucy said.

“Akko has been silent for a few seconds at most,” Diana countered.

Sucy fixed her with a pointed stare, “You don’t have to share a room with her.”

“She even talks in her sleep,” Lotte added.

Akko folded her arms, glaring at her teammates.

“Ahem,” Diana said, doing her best not to laugh at Akko’s indignation, “I do believe it is my turn?”

_Diana, having immediately realised any arrow fired through the flames into a two-on-one melee was leaving entirely too much to chance, slung her bow onto her back and raced to the side. She leapt up, hauling herself onto a low hanging branch. She tried to move up the tree as quickly as she could, but the branch was significantly less stable than the ground._

_The rumbling suddenly intensified as the earth tore itself apart, a huge crack opening in the centre of the courtyard. Diana dropped low, holding the tree’s branches with both arms as the earthquake threatened to pitch her straight into the newly opened crevice._

_Sucy had no such luck, and found herself hanging by her fingertips over the edge of the drop. Lotte called out in panic, rushing towards her as quickly as she could manage. She dropped to her knees, grabbing Sucy’s arm and hauling her to safety in the nick of time, as the patch of earth Sucy had grabbed onto cracked and broke free, falling into the abyss below._

_Prince Arvis gleefully twirled, landing a glancing blow on Akko before slicing his sword directly into Amanda. The blade cut straight through the shadowy edges of her form, leaving a trail of darkness in the air and against her skin as it found its mark._

_Amanda let out a soundless shriek, struggling to maintain her hold on her dagger with the searing pain in her arm. Gritting her teeth in determination, she kept up her attack, refusing to let Arvis slip away from her. Her other dagger flashed up, plunging into his side._

_Akko pressed forward, keeping Arvis penned in. Her first strike landed, but he twisted out of the way of her second with shocking ease. Akko let out a silent howl of frustration. How much punishment could this one man take!?_

_Diana continued to scramble up the tree, finally reaching a favourable vantage position as she readied her bow once more. She took careful aim, lining Arvis up perfectly in her sights, when something at the edge of her vision nearly made her drop her bow in shock._

_A single claw reached out of the heaving earth, right next to Sucy and Lotte. That single talon was larger alone than either of them. Diana’s eyes widened in horror as the rest of the creature’s claw followed, impossibly large and coloured a decaying, mottled green. Chunks of flesh hung off it in strips, giving her a sickening view of the muscle and bone beneath. Two large networks of cracks split off from the main one in the centre of the courtyard, forming large cones of broken earth that spread to the walls._

_“Akko!” she called in warning, but it was no use. Akko and Amanda were still completely enveloped by silence, unable to see anything past the flames surrounding them._

_Arvis’ grin widened, they were powerless to stop what was coming. He feinted with his sword, then landed a brutal kick straight to Amanda’s chest. She went flying back, crashing through the fire and landing on the other side. The silence dissipated, and Arvis let out the maniacal laugh he’d been holding in. “Behold, the ultimate weapon of our people, shackled no longer!”_

_Akko moved to turn away, but was thrown from her feet as the earth exploded beneath her, revealing the enormous, rotted head of a long dead dragon._

_Akko went flying, landing with a clanking thud as the dragon threw her from its head. She pulled herself shakily to her feet, looking in awe and horror as more of the dragon slowly emerged. She took a glance to her side, seeing Amanda lying there unconscious, and hesitated, fingers clenching nervously around her sword._

“I can heal you,” Akko offered to Amanda, “I have Lay on Hands.”

Amanda made a zipping gesture across her mouth, “I’m unconscious. Completely your call.”

No one even dared breathe as Akko looked between Amanda’s tiny token, and the emerging dragon which was already covering half the table.

She nodded, eyes determined. Amanda shot her a thumbs up.

_Akko broke into a run, screaming as she leapt. Her sword plunged directly into the dragon’s empty eye socket, causing it to flail its massive body in pain. Branches splintered and fell, Sucy and Lotte ran as fast as they could across what little remained of the ruined floor of the courtyard._

_Diana frantically dashed up the tree, leaping from branch to branch as each one she stood on disintegrated beneath her. Arrows flew from her bow as she ran, embedding themselves in the dragon’s hide._

_An enormous wing finally broke itself free from the ground, the flesh half-decayed. The force buffeted Diana, nearly sending her flying mid-jump. Her body smashed into the trunk of the tree with a heavy thud, but she maintained her grip, holding on for dear life as she began to haul herself up further._

_“Truly, your efforts in futility never cease to impress,” Arvis gloated, looking with disdain at Akko. “But if you’re so willing to throw your comrade’s life away, who am I to reject?” He turned to Amanda, raising his dark sword for the finishing blow._

_And screamed as a crossbow bolt impaled itself in his back._

_Sucy grinned, lowering her weapon and walking slowly across the destroyed courtyard. “I’ve been waiting for so long for a chance to use that,” she sighed happily._

_“Wh-” Arvis began, before convulsing in pain. He tried to raise his sword again, but every muscle in his arm rejected him. His sword flew from his hand as his grip failed._

_“It’s a wonderful concoction,” Sucy said dreamily. “Black widow venom, deathcap extract, a little shadow essence as a binding agent, and a drop of blightburn sap to give it an extra kick.”_

_Arvis felt his jaw slacken, not from shock at Sucy’s words, but from the weakness infecting every part of his body. “You… How dare…” he tried to choke out._

_“I wouldn’t recommend talking, it’s about to hurt a whole lot more,” Sucy’s grin turned vicious. “I wonder what will kill you first, your muscles failing, or…”_

_Arvis struggled to turn his head around, and was greeted with the sight of a very much alive Amanda, still glowing from Lotte’s healing spell, daggers in hand._

_Both daggers lashed out, plunging into Arvis’s neck. He reeled back, blood pouring from his mouth. “No… no this isn’t how this ends!”_

_An explosion of energy burst forth from the Noir Cell, sending Amanda flying back. Prince Arvis laughed one last time as the energy obliterated his body, ripping him to shreds before their eyes._

_The dragon reared up at the explosion. Akko stumbled wildly, somehow maintaining her balance as it wrenched its second wing free. With a horrible tearing noise, half of its tail broke free of the earth, the other half left buried as it tore itself from the ground. The dragon finally pushed itself to its feet, opening its maw in a blood-curdling shriek, noxious fumes pouring from its mouth at random._

_Diana finally pulled herself up to a nest of branches within the great tree, thankfully above the toxic cloud spewing from the dragon’s mouth. She raised her bow, searching the smoke and flame for any sight of Prince Arvis. She finally saw him, or what was left of him._

_Arvis was little more than a skeleton now, his robe hanging in tatters against his obliterated body. His flesh had been completely destroyed, and his mouth still hung open in an echo of his final laugh. Diana moved to track her bow over to the dragon, when she noticed something. Something so small, so insignificant, that none but the sharpest ranger’s eyes could have spotted it from this distance._

_Arvis’s empty eye sockets were glowing._

_A foul wind whipped around him as he slowly rose. His dark sword flew into his hand, head cracking back into place as the Lich Prince stood, triumphant. “I am become death! I am become eternal!”_

_Amanda pushed herself back to her feet, swaying with the exertion of merely standing. She raised a dagger, pointing it straight at Arvis, “Not while we’re here you’re not.”_

_A bolt of light flew out from behind her, incinerating what remained of two of Arvis’s ribs. Lotte stepped forward, raising a hand to support Amanda._

_“Honestly, I’m just sick of this guy,” Sucy said, hurling a vial of explosive chemicals directly at Arvis._

_“You dare stand before me!? Your Prince!? Your_ God _!? Learn now the price of disobedience!” Arvis’s eyes ignited like purple flames, as an orb of darkness flew from his hands, exploding in their midst._

_The trio were ready for it, leaping out of the way the second before it made impact. “Heh,” Amanda said with a cocky smirk, “no threat before, no threat n-”_

_A shockwave ripped across the courtyard as the dragon beat its wings._

_Impossibly, it rose._

_On half destroyed wings, the dragon pushed itself toward the skies. Branches cracked, falling to the ground in a deadly shower. Akko was launched off its head, sent flying from the sheer force. Diana screamed in panic, “Akko!”_

_Akko twisted in midair, lunging forward with her sword in a desperate strike. It dug into the dragon’s back, and against all odds, held firm. Akko slammed into the dragon’s back, held in place by her grip on her sword._

_Her grip was immediately tested, as the dragon’s wings beat once again, climbing higher. Diana was already leaping through the few branches of the great tree that remained, trying to gain as much height as possible while moving across to the dragon’s flight path. A single branch extended ahead of her, directly above the dragon._

_Diana looked down, seeing Akko holding on for dear life to the sword she’d wedged into the dragon’s back. She took a deep breath, and ran forward. The branch wobbled, threatening to throw her off before she could make it in line with the dragon. She ran harder, lungs and legs burning with the exertion as she tried desperately to make it in time._

_She chanced a look below. Amanda, Lotte and Sucy were all frantically dodging blasts of dark magic, returning as good as they got when Arvis’s attacks let up. The dragon was directly beneath her, it was now or never._

_“We can handle this nobody,” Amanda shouted up to her, barely audible between the distance and the continued screeching and cracking sounds of the dragon attempting to take flight, “go rescue your girl, alright?”_

_Still at full speed, Diana leapt from the branch, aiming directly for the dragon’s back._

_The dragon rolled, a wing swiped at her through the air, sending her flying off course._

_Diana hurtled downwards. A large branch appeared in her vision and she realised with grim certainty she had mere seconds before she smashed into it. She tried to twist in the air, tried desperately to do anything to save herself._

_Then she felt herself slowing to a gentle stop, right in front of the branch. She looked around in shock, feeling herself begin to float slowly higher._

_Lotte’s arms were raised, straining from the effort of maintaining her Levitate spell. “Go!” she shouted._

_Diana nodded once, trying not to feel strange as she ran on thin air, steadily rising as she did so._

_The dragon’s claws found purchase on the top of the castle walls, stone crumbling and falling to the ground as it hauled itself free of the courtyard. With a final explosion of timber, it pushed itself through what remained of the tree, and launched into the sky._

_Diana was right behind it, running alongside on a thin layer of air, firing arrow after arrow. She needed to move faster, needed to get in front of the damn thing so she could aim at its eyes. Of course, there was no particular reason that an undead dragon should have the same weakness as a live one, but Akko’s earlier attack had clearly been effective, so it was her best plan at the moment._

_Thinking of Akko, Diana took a quick look to see how she was doing, and her jaw dropped._

_She saw Akko yank her sword free, then impale it into the dragon’s back a couple of feet higher. She pulled herself up, steadying her position with her blade, before shifting and striking again. Strike by strike, haul by haul, Akko was climbing. She’d nearly made it to the dragon’s neck already._

_Suddenly, as if it had only just noticed her presence, the dragon turned its head towards Diana. Before she had the opportunity to exploit its weak eyes, it roared, bringing a claw up towards her in a deadly swipe. Diana tumbled out of the way, grimacing in pain as the dragon nicked her side. The air cushioned her as she landed, and she quickly made it back to her feet, firing another arrow as the dragon turned its head away._

_Akko heaved a sigh of relief as the dragon stopped twisting, readying herself to continue the climb. After a couple more strikes, she finally made it to the dragon’s neck, and pushed her blade in to the hilt._

_The dragon shrieked, writhing in the air and bringing a claw up to slash at its own neck. Chunks of rotten flesh sloughed off it, falling to the ground in tatters as it tried desperately to remove Akko. She held tightly, shining with determination as she waited for the half second reprieve as the dragon’s claw swung back for the next attack, and quickly shifted her sword forward another foot._

_Akko’s grip was faltering, and Diana knew it. She’d taken enough punishment from her aggressive tactics against Arvis that she wouldn’t be able to take many more swipes from the dragon. She needed a distraction, and Diana was the only one on hand to provide._

_Diana ran, moving as fast as she could around to the dragon’s front. Its massive head loomed above her, and she immediately peppered its jaw with arrows. “Over here!” she shouted, “why don’t you, ah, pick on someone your own size!”_

Amanda burst out laughing.

Diana flushed, bringing a hand up to her face. “Perhaps not my finest choice of words.”

“Honestly, you trying to trash talk in the first place is even funnier than the fact you _completely suck at it!”_ Amanda howled with laughter.

“Well you couldn’t hear it anyway, you’re half a mile away!” Diana said indignantly.

“I could, and I found it adorable,” Akko grinned.

“Thank you, Akko,” Diana said, still somewhat red. “I’ll have to ask you for pointers on more effective ‘trash talk’ later.”

“Any time,” Akko smiled again.

_The dragon’s head tilted downwards, its empty, glowing eye sockets blazing with fury at Diana. Its mouth opened, and a cloud of foul smelling, necrotic poison spewed out. Diana choked on it, struggling to breathe through the noxious gas. She felt her eyes streaming, her lungs burning, her mind slipping into-_

_“_ Lyonne _!” Akko shouted, light blasting forth as she plunged her sword into the crown of the dragon’s head. The light infused Diana, staving off the worst of the dragon’s poison. As the cloud passed by her, she stood strong before the dragon, hair streaming behind her as she continued to fly higher, as if daring it to try again._

_The dragon screeched, leaning its head back to prepare for another attack, before howling in pain as Akko’s sword finally found its mark, piercing directly into its empty eye. As it thrashed wildly, Diana took careful aim, and her arrow flew true, embedding into the dragon’s other eye._

_The blinded dragon twisted wildly in the air, doing everything it could to throw Akko off, but her grip was too strong. She pushed her sword another inch deeper, and the dragon began slashing in a wild panic. It dived forward, aiming for where it thought Diana was, snapping its teeth shut in a sickening crunch._

“Oh,” Ursula said in a small voice.

“What happened?” Lotte asked with bated breath.

“The dragon,” she started, unsure of how to say it, “it appears to have, um, rolled a critical.”

Diana paled. She looked down at her character sheet. There definitely wasn’t enough health left there to survive a critical from the dragon, considering how much damage a deflected slash had done. She sighed, all she could do now was trust in Akko to finish the job.

Akko reached to her, squeezing her hand. Diana returned the gesture, thankful for the sympathy. Then she saw the determination shining in Akko’s eyes as she looked at her.

“ _Sybilladura Lelladybura.”_

_Akko launched herself off the dragon’s head, leaving her sword planted in its eye. The instant before the dragon’s jaws snapped shut around Diana’s head, Akko crashed into her, shoving her out of the way as the dragon’s jaws instead crunched through Akko’s armour like it was paper._

_Diana gasped, mouth open and eyes wide, unable to process what was happening in front of her. Akko had just… let herself die. To save her._

_Then she noticed something._

_Akko’s eyes were still open._

“Phasansheer… Shearylla!”

_Akko’s body glowed with light. The jaws which should have killed her by all rights halted in their tracks, as Akko somehow, someway, was still alive between them._

“What!?”

Practically the entire room had screeched in shock as Akko had declared her latest ability.

“My new move, Paladin’s Determination! If an attack would reduce me to 0 HP, I can choose to survive it on 1 instead!” Akko declared proudly.

“Seems broken,” Sucy said.

“Oh yeah, the downside is that if I do get dropped to 0 after that, I die immediately.”

“YOU WHAT!?”

Akko shrugged, “All I gotta do is not get hit. Easy.”

Amanda’s face planted into the table, Lotte clutched her dice in worry. Sucy turned to Ursula, “You may want to print off another sheet for next week.”

Diana was the only one to not react. Akko had just placed the entire fight’s success on her shoulders, and she was _damned_ if she was going to let her down.

_The dragon tried to grit its teeth in range, unfortunately there was a temporarily invincible Akko between them. So it did the only thing it could think to do._

_It whipped its head to the side, and flung Akko towards the ground._

* * *

_Amanda grimaced as Arvis twisted with impossible speed past her dagger, stepping towards Lotte. His new lich form didn’t seem to be doing anything to slow him down, if anything, he was significantly faster without mortality weighing him down. A mottled hand snaked from beneath his robes, seizing Lotte’s arm. She screamed as necrotic energy twisted around her arm, burning away scraps of her robe._

_Sucy yanked Lotte away, but the curse stayed. “Can you heal it,” she asked, pulling out a vial from her dangerously low supply._

_Lotte tried, closing her eyes and focusing, but the magic refused to answer her. “I can’t heal at all!” she said, panic creeping into her voice. She looked skywards, hoping that Diana was still floating, then screamed in horror as she saw Akko flung from the dragon’s mouth, hurtling towards the ground at impossible speed._

_Then stop._

“I cast Feather Fall!” Diana shouted.

“Dianaaa! You saved me!” Akko hugged her.

“Since when can you do _that!?”_ Amanda demanded.

“I’ve always had the ability,” Diana said, somewhat breathless and still with her face pressed into Akko’s side. “One of my elven heritage abilities let me choose a basic arcane spell, and I selected Feather Fall. It just hasn’t come up until now.”

“And you didn’t think to cast it earlier when you were about to fall to your death!?” Amanda asked incredulously.

“I… thought there might be a more opportune time,” Diana awkwardly defended herself.

“I suppose it doesn’t get more opportune than that,” Lotte commented.

“Quite,” said Ursula, who had definitely not looked over Diana’s character sheet before the session.

_Lotte breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Akko’s fall slow to a fraction of its previous speed, floating gently downwards as Diana and the dragon continued to battle above her._

_She turned back to the fight with Arvis. So what if she couldn’t heal anymore, she still had other tricks up her sleeve._

_“Amanda, Sucy, stand back!” she warned, raising her one still good hand._

_Her allies got the hint, taking careful steps away from Arvis. He leered at her, the flames in his eyes flickering viciously. “So you wish to sacrifice yourself to me? So be it.”_

_Lotte responded by bringing her hand forward, “Searing Light!” She loosed a stream of blinding radiance directly into Arvis’s chest, burning the air as it pierced through him and into the courtyard beyond._

_Arvis screamed as the blast incinerated his chest. His bones tried to twist and reform, but every time they went near the gaping cavity where Lotte’s attack was, they smouldered and burnt._

_The light continued to burst from Lotte’s hands, glowing ever more brightly as Arvis shrieked. His chest finally collapsed, and his head fell into the beam. With one last scream of anguish, it was burnt to a crisp._

_There was a half second pause, then a horrible detonation of dark magic as Arvis’s body exploded. Amanda and Sucy were flung back, landing on the ground with twin grunts of pain. Lotte wasn’t so lucky, being caught directly in the epicentre. The blast threw her body like a ragdoll, slamming her unconscious form into the ground._

_Diana immediately plummeted towards the earth._

_The arrows in her quiver went flying into the air as she suddenly flew towards the ground at impossible speed. The dragon continued rising for a moment, before noticing that its foe had vanished. It realised the issue, and dived after Diana._

_Diana continued hurtling downwards, accelerating towards terminal velocity as she flew towards the ground._

_And landed in Akko’s arms._

_Akko landed heavily on the plane of air holding her up, desperately trying to keep hold of Diana after her miraculous dive to catch her. She struggled to her feet, maintaining a tight grip on Diana as they both rose to face the dragon diving towards them._

_Diana unsteadily raised her bow, nocking the one arrow she still had hold of, shakily aiming for the eye of the diving dragon._

_Akko’s hand found its way onto hers. With a smile, they raised the bow together, aiming it at certain death._

“Noctu Orfei…” _Akko pulled the string back._

“Aude Fraetor!” _Diana aimed true._

“SHI~ NY~ ARC!!!” _they screamed as one._

_An arrow of light streaked forth from both of their hands, flying perfectly into the dragon’s eye. Light spilled from the dragon’s body, ripping it apart from the inside. The dragon writhed, frantically trying to stop what had already happened, and with a final roar, it disintegrated into pure light._

_Akko and Diana stood together as the light rained around them. They floated gently downward, still hand in hand, glowing bow held between them._

“NNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Amanda threw a ball of paper at them.

Diana realised, in that moment, that she was standing up, holding Akko’s hand, and had just yelled _Shiny Arc_ in Professor Ursula’s office.

She sat down.

Akko did not.

“Eat it Amanda! We killed the final boss and you didn’t!” she declared, gesturing with one hand while holding Diana’s with the other.

“Actually Lotte did,” Sucy said.

“What!? The dragon was clearly the final boss!” Akko said indignantly.

“Arvis was the main villain, though,” Amanda said.

“You’re just jealous,” Akko grumbled, sitting down.

Diana rubbed the back of Akko’s hand gently, looking down at the 20 she’d rolled. Well, she’d definitely seen a flash of magic from Ursula when she rolled it, but she wasn’t going to say anything. After all, _she_ was the one who’d killed the boss.

* * *

“So did everyone enjoy themselves this time?” Ursula said cheerily.

“It was _amazing!”_ Akko cheered.

“Yeah that was pretty cool,” Amanda agreed.

“I enjoyed it a lot,” Lotte said, having been reassured that her character had survived Arvis’s final act of spite.

“I had fun,” Sucy said, simply.

“I had a lovely time,” Diana concluded.

“Same time next week, then?” Ursula asked with a smile.

“If you wouldn’t mind, could we do a different day?” Diana said, apologetically.

“Oh, I’m not sure any other day suits,” Ursula said. “Is there any way to rearrange what you’re doing? It’s fine if not.”

“I’m afraid not,” Diana said, “it was the only evening the restaurant had available and I would really rather not cancel my first date with Akko.”

The room stared at her in stunned silence.

“Are you really that surprised?” Diana asked pointedly.

“I was!” Akko protested.

“Well, congratulations,” Ursula started, the shock not fully worn off, “and we’ll take a break next week then.”

“My thanks,” Diana nodded.

Akko looked around at the shocked expressions on her friends’ faces, before donning a smirk. “Fun as this has been, I gotta get going. Diana promised to help me with some _studying_ later.”

“Ew,” Sucy said.

“A-Akko,” Diana protested, as Akko grabbed her hand and led her from the room.

“Look,” Akko said, her voice trailing down the hallway, “I’ve wanted to kiss you _all day_ and then you go and save me again how could I not-”

Amanda pushed the door shut.

“They’re going to be unbearable aren’t they.” It wasn’t a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for enjoying this nonsense with me!
> 
> This has been a blast to write, and if you've had even half as much fun reading it as I had coming up with it, then I consider that mission successful.
> 
> As an aside, I'd considered doing an extra chapter where I made them all character sheets, but considering how many rules I twisted for narrative purposes (for example Akko's ultimate survive on 1 HP ability is a half-orc ancestry feature, not a Paladin one), it would be pretty pointless.
> 
> And of course, comments and reviews always welcome, thanks again!


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